7 Fears I Had Before YTT
Before YTT I will admit, I was so nervous. In my first video about YTT I talked about some of my feelings from the first email that I received about registration even being open. I literally felt as if I were on an emotional rollercoaster. But my nerves finally settled enough for me to take the plunge and go for it. So far, yoga teacher training has been a remarkable and eye-opening experience. And I realize God allowed me to wait and take it at this point for a reason. Even with my fears about YTT, I've learned a few lessons from each one.
1 | I wasn't advanced enough
I'll be the first to admit that I do not know every yoga pose on the planet. Going into YTT I was scared that my knowledge of asanas would be sub par. I felt this would make me slow down the class, and my fellow yogis.
There were no expectations for me to know each and every pose coming into YTT. And surprisingly, I underestimated myself. Once I saw so many poses actually laid out on paper, I realized that even if I hadn't attempted each pose, I had at least heard of or seen most of them.
2 | I wasn't flexible enough
I haven't been able to do a split since maybe freshman year of high school. My hips are super tight, and my chest could be more open. These things prevent me from being able to go deeper, or do a more advanced pose, like king pigeon. I was afraid that me not being flexible would be an issue since I wanted to become a teacher.
I wasn't the only one who's toes don't touch their head! It was refreshing to be in a class where we all have different strengths, but we're also all progressing each day. My instructor is fantastic, he can do basically everything - but he's never made any of us feel inadequate. A fellow yogini in training is a ballerina, but being in class with her doesn't make me feel bad about my lack of flexibility. Her practice is hers, mine is mine, and we both have very similar reasons for loving yoga and wanting to teach.
3 | I wouldn't be able to keep up with the other yogis
Honesty hour: I am not a dancer. I will dance, but learning choreography has not been my strong point. I was hoping my lack of grasping on to things like choreography quickly wouldn't hinder me in learning what I need to know to teach a class.
I'm in a 200 hour yoga teacher training. Two. Hundred. Hours. We have a lot of work, and we practice A LOT. This has been very helpful.
4 | Did I really know the true meaning of yoga?
I have a book about yoga that I started, but never finished. Did I really know what yoga was all about? Or what it meant? I had formed my own personal feelings about yoga, and I read plenty of quotes on Pinterest, but was that enough? I didn't want to have an uneducated or selfish view of what yoga was.
There are so many perspectives and so much to learn when it comes to yoga. Yoga has a very rich history, but in reality, a lot of things from yoga's past are not that relevant applied to today. As time goes on, we as people evolve, and so does the practice. People have found ways to incorporate other forms of fitness into yoga, people practice in a multitude of settings and locations. There will always be much to learn and know about yoga.
5 | Wait… can I afford it?!
I guess you can call me a primarily self-taught yogi. Even though that sounds odd in itself. But really, I've always seen a pose, read up on it and studied how to do it. So initially a lot of yoga I did was at home for free. When I first started looking at YTT in college, I saw that it was way out of my price range. Even now, I was terrified to sign up because this was a chunk of MY money, and I don't like buying something that I haven't saved up for. Starting YTT when I did was mostly a strong leap of faith.
Well, I registered early, which allowed me to get a discount and save some money. I could've also paid for YTT in full before my start date but… ain't nobody got time for that!! lol. But even better, we have monthly payment plans. So this helps so much to split my payments up throughout YTT instead of coughing up one huge lump sum.
6 | Should I do this… now?
I didn't have my savings for YTT where I wanted them, and this was a big reason why I wanted to wait. It's why I waited when I was in college. And like I mentioned earlier, I'm no expert yogi! So I was thinking maybe if I dedicate the next year to my practice, and saving my money, I can do it then.
Literally, I've been the only thing in my way when it comes to moving forward with my goals. I had to suck it up and move forward in the direction of my dreams. Nothing grows in comfort zones, so I took myself out of it by [insert video]applying for YTT.
7 | What if I'm a horrible teacher?
Yes, this crossed my mind. How would I remember an entire class? A group of people dependent upon me… for an hour?! It made me nervous just thinking about it.
YTT is here to prepare you to become a teacher. We have so much practice, and our discussions cover a wide variety of areas, it's made me much more comfortable in the grand scheme of things when it comes to teaching.
Right now I'm halfway through YTT, and some of these fears still try to creep up from time to time. I'm learning new habits through my practice, meditation, and my perspective which helps me settle those uneasy thoughts, so it is getting better. I also accept now, that it is okay to be a little scared sometimes. Acting on my fears means that I am growing, getting stronger, and more prepared.
Photo: Aurelius Creates | Graphic: SQA